Does the Love word really exist? and A Message…

I’ve been reading “Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene. This entry is just a quick review of the book. I am not highly recommending it because some of his views and propositions are considered unreasonably manipulative. In love, manipulation or deceit is always going to be a destructive component of it. However, it is very intriguing to read if you want to be an “expert seductress”; which is such a ridiculous concept in my opinion. Why should one try hard? Okay, maybe the desperate ones need it haha. But these things should run naturally. I’ve been introduced to the different kinds of seducers in the world there is by this book. It’s comparable to Sun Tzu’s “Art of War” but this book should be more likely entitled  as “How to win in the Battle of Love”. But why does love always have to feel like a battlefield? (As Jordin Sparks asks in one of her famous songs.. hahahaha! I know corny) It shouldn’t be, but more often than not it inevitably turns out that way for the majority. I strongly think neither of the two have to win or lose. It’s just life. Love fades, two lovers move on and learn from each other. So what’s the point of this post you may ask?

I’ve come across a quote in the book that made me think and analyze what this complex, stupid, tragic but sometimes magnificent thing “love” is. Here’s the quote from Theodor Reik  in “Of Love and Lust” (pp. 150-151 of “The Concise Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene)

I have stressed the fact that the beloved person is a substitute for the ideal ego. Two people who love each other are interchanging their ego ideals. That they love each other means they love the ideal of themselves in the other one. There would be no love on earth if this phantom were not there. We fall in love because we cannot attain the image that is our better self and the best of our self. From this concept it is obvious that love itself is only possible on a certain cultural level or after a certain phase in the development of the personality has been reached. The creation of an ego ideal itself marks human progress. When people are entirely satisfied with their actual selves, love is impossible. The transfer of the ego ideal to a person is the most characteristic trait of love. 

BAM! Enlightenment or Disillusionment? This is ultra similar to Jean Paul Sartre’s conflict of the Other which he wrote about in “Being and Nothingness” and can also be found in my previous post “The Missing Piece”. So is love even authentic or merely a project to better ourselves and enhance our ego ideal in the expense of the other?! (the beloved or the lover). When people are entirely satisfied with their actual selves, love is impossible. – Can people ever be actually content with their actual aloneness or selves?  Maybe not, because we are always evolving. But some are such a rarity. The only thing certain is that nothing is certain. We always want to improve or self destruct constantly; whatever floats people’s boats. That’s why the phenomenon love has been invented. Some never feel gratified of their being single. I glorify those who do not feel the need for an enhancement of an ego ideal, or of a lover. Independent woman, I will be you someday, in a sense that I will not look for an intensification of myself through someone else but only through myself.

On a friendlier note,

I want to take the time and tell you. You who may never even come across this entry or maybe will, after several seasons have passed that I hope the best for you. The song below sums up what I want to tell you. I am happy with my life and you deserve to be prosperous in all directions of yours especially in finding someone to give you what I was not able to. I’ve learned and without the pain, no gain. 🙂

(The lyrics are specially meant for you.)


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