Fight Club and Maturity

I watched Fight Club when I was around 19 years old. It spoke to me in so many ways saying how my life sucked. I needed and wanted a Tyler Durden. I needed my alter ego to save me from my boring life and create that spark and chaotic beauty of living dangerously. I once wrote about it. Instead of Tyler Durden getting killed, I’d kill the narrator. The unnamed Edward Norton.

Past 6 years and I watch Fight Club again. I realize how I’ve matured in relation to having watched this movie once more. I saw pointless anarchism in Tyler’s actions. His lack of heart towards Robert Paulson repulsed my sympathies. Yes he was revolutionary. Yes he was sexy, confident, and a lot of things Edward and I weren’t. However he is in Edward all along. The narrator just had to resurrect the protagonist  to change his mundane, decaying life. The ending had to be Edward killing Tyler because he was a nuisance to society. Yes he uplifted the spirits and brought new life. Too much of him would also be a waste just as too much of Edward was a waste. Their getting to know each other balanced the ideal life that was yet to come,  For the narrator, for marla and the protagonist’s new viewpoint of others and the world.

Fortunately, I wasn’t graced with having schizophrenia. I don’t have to struggle with another me that I adored and despised. I am just saying that now my view has changed. I wouldn’t change the movie at all, unlike 6 years ago when I wanted Tyler to live. There was a scene wherein Tyler threatened to kill an employee if he didn’t do what he wanted to do in his life, be a veterinarian. Edward wanted to see the point in it. Tyler replies by saying that what he did was a good thing for the employee. His goals were clearer, he would feel better after a long time in his banal life. His breakfast would taste better than all the other breakfasts he’s had.

 I am glad my Tyler has asked me that question just months ago. I know what my purpose is and everyday, I’ll find ways to pursue it. Be a psycotheapist, travel, live life extremely with satisfactory amounts of moderation and self reflection.  When all is good in that list, Have a family. I am confident. I have a Tyler Durden in me all along. Who succeeds is the real me, turning the revolution to good, controlling the intense, mischievous, playful chaotic and sexy thing Tyler Durden in me is.

 

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